Feels strange to be writing again. It makes me think why I gave up writing in the first place.
Its because writing can become an addiction like reading. It gets into your head. All you want to do is write. Everything else seems so unimportant compared to it. So when I was writing the blog and started writing for the online sports magazine sportskeeda, and also started writing a book the addiction took over. All I wanted to do was write and while that was possible during the holidays; though I also got grief from my father at times, when he would be up at 5 in the morning and I would still be writing. His day had begun, my night was yet to come. But going back to college meant I did not have the freedom. My internship at sportskeeda ended and I completed my book; and suddenly I lost the freedom to write. And that was it. Never written since. While a lot of other factors contributed to not writing, they are not worth mentioning. Its not as if I never picked up the pen, in fact laptop, to write. But that inspiration was lost. Every time I would want to write, all things came rushing back. About how all I wanted to do was write, chuck the law. Writing is so much more fun. But yet stuck at law school. Learning things that are fun but their practical usage so far away that the entire point seems lost.
So what changed? A single phone call to my mom, and the return of the inspiration. First the phone call to my mom. Well that happened right between exams. It was a few hours before the Trust Equity and Fiduciary Relationship paper. I hadnt touched my book nor slides. I only had 4 hours. Still no luck trying to study. My room mate entered and looked at me. I was sitting in front of my laptop looking at internship opportunities in sports journals or newspapers. This was in the month of April and i was looking for November December interns. He looked at me and said What in the name of Fuck are you doing! Well i had had a moment of realization. I was looking at the trust equity slides and it came to me, what am I doing? This is not what I want to do right now. Yes studying Constitution and Adminstrative law and Criminal Procedure code is fun. But trust equity and faloola faloola is not my idea of fun and future.
So i snapped out of the desperation, and called my mom. So she picks it up, I say Hi.. and bam! She knows somethings bothering me. How do they do it.. Anyway I am not complaining. Works for me. So I take the trouble of explaining all that I am going through, how I dont know what to do. While I love being a student of law, yet its writing that I enjoy the most. Letting my creativity run wild.. And after all that explanation, she tells me, What the hell are you talking about? You are in law school, so study law. Especially since you like studying it. And write when you have time. You say its fun, so I am willing take your word for it. Thinking about 3 years in the future? When was the last time you had any idea what you were going to do in the next hour?
And that was it. It was the end of the rut. So simple yet only could come through my mom, no one else.
So I finally told myself, you have been pushing studying trust and blah for a day and half now. Scoring 30 in the internals means you still need 10 more marks to pass the over all subject. While 10 out of 50 is no big deal, it will be if you go without looking at the subject. I have always been a person who studies naturally well when my ass is on fire. So I told my ass theres only a couple of hours left and if you dont catch fire soon I would fail this subject. So finally catch fire, it did. And the exam was done.
I knew now how to write. I would write to have fun. If that sounds nerdy then you are in for a surprise. So there was only one thing missing. The fire of inspiration that had burned down to desperation. All I needed was a spark. But instead of the spark the enitre forest fire caught me. And it was provided by the city of lights. Thats, Paris for people who think I am referring to Indian city of lights, Varanasi. Why it was in power saving mode, i shall explain soon enough in the next post. So stay tuned.
This was so much fun!
Signing Off,
Buckchod
Lock and Load
Its because writing can become an addiction like reading. It gets into your head. All you want to do is write. Everything else seems so unimportant compared to it. So when I was writing the blog and started writing for the online sports magazine sportskeeda, and also started writing a book the addiction took over. All I wanted to do was write and while that was possible during the holidays; though I also got grief from my father at times, when he would be up at 5 in the morning and I would still be writing. His day had begun, my night was yet to come. But going back to college meant I did not have the freedom. My internship at sportskeeda ended and I completed my book; and suddenly I lost the freedom to write. And that was it. Never written since. While a lot of other factors contributed to not writing, they are not worth mentioning. Its not as if I never picked up the pen, in fact laptop, to write. But that inspiration was lost. Every time I would want to write, all things came rushing back. About how all I wanted to do was write, chuck the law. Writing is so much more fun. But yet stuck at law school. Learning things that are fun but their practical usage so far away that the entire point seems lost.
So what changed? A single phone call to my mom, and the return of the inspiration. First the phone call to my mom. Well that happened right between exams. It was a few hours before the Trust Equity and Fiduciary Relationship paper. I hadnt touched my book nor slides. I only had 4 hours. Still no luck trying to study. My room mate entered and looked at me. I was sitting in front of my laptop looking at internship opportunities in sports journals or newspapers. This was in the month of April and i was looking for November December interns. He looked at me and said What in the name of Fuck are you doing! Well i had had a moment of realization. I was looking at the trust equity slides and it came to me, what am I doing? This is not what I want to do right now. Yes studying Constitution and Adminstrative law and Criminal Procedure code is fun. But trust equity and faloola faloola is not my idea of fun and future.
So i snapped out of the desperation, and called my mom. So she picks it up, I say Hi.. and bam! She knows somethings bothering me. How do they do it.. Anyway I am not complaining. Works for me. So I take the trouble of explaining all that I am going through, how I dont know what to do. While I love being a student of law, yet its writing that I enjoy the most. Letting my creativity run wild.. And after all that explanation, she tells me, What the hell are you talking about? You are in law school, so study law. Especially since you like studying it. And write when you have time. You say its fun, so I am willing take your word for it. Thinking about 3 years in the future? When was the last time you had any idea what you were going to do in the next hour?
And that was it. It was the end of the rut. So simple yet only could come through my mom, no one else.
So I finally told myself, you have been pushing studying trust and blah for a day and half now. Scoring 30 in the internals means you still need 10 more marks to pass the over all subject. While 10 out of 50 is no big deal, it will be if you go without looking at the subject. I have always been a person who studies naturally well when my ass is on fire. So I told my ass theres only a couple of hours left and if you dont catch fire soon I would fail this subject. So finally catch fire, it did. And the exam was done.
I knew now how to write. I would write to have fun. If that sounds nerdy then you are in for a surprise. So there was only one thing missing. The fire of inspiration that had burned down to desperation. All I needed was a spark. But instead of the spark the enitre forest fire caught me. And it was provided by the city of lights. Thats, Paris for people who think I am referring to Indian city of lights, Varanasi. Why it was in power saving mode, i shall explain soon enough in the next post. So stay tuned.
This was so much fun!
Signing Off,
Buckchod
Lock and Load
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